Everyone is quick to put their positives online, however our struggle’s we tend to hold back.
That should change.
When it comes to online presence we are all guilty of only sharing the positive parts of our lives, making it seem that everything is perfect, lets disregard Facebook, because we all have those people that put a bit too much on there.
In reality we know no one has a perfect life, everyone has their up’s and down’s – their struggles.
When it come’s to having a baby or baby discussions, it is as though we are not allowed to say anything negative for the fear of being classed as depressed, unhappy or ‘not being able to handle things’. Therefore when people ask how is it all going we simply reply “great”.
We all have our own struggles with Motherhood, from one struggle to ten, it doesn’t make us any less of a Mother nor does it mean we are unhappy. Let me tell you about my struggle as of late.
Both combined are hard work with a baby.
The fear of being left behind in this fast growing online community.
When people asked me what I would do with work when the baby arrived, I naively would respond that I could work while she was napping or sleeping or during the night. YEAH RIGHT. I could laugh at myself saying that back now.
I know people say sleep when the baby sleeps and although I never did that, I still didn’t find the time to work instead it was cleaning the chaos around me because I can’t stand an untidy home. I’m a true believer off untidy home, untidy mind. So I was always trying to keep on top of things.
Then when she would wake I would be mad at myself for not using that time wisely, be that feeding myself or working.
That’s another thing, feeding myself would always come last, so by the end of the day I’d be feeling a little hangry.
I am very lucky to have a partner who can support us all, but I like to work and being unable to produce new content for my spaces is my struggle. I see people who were on the same followers or work campaigns as myself suddenly grow massively and I feel jealous that it isn’t happening to me.
The first day I came out of hospital with Pollyanna, I was back working, not because I had to but because I wanted to.
A few weeks later, I was pulling on jeans over my fresh caesarean scar just to get outfit photos.
It took me a few weeks to realise that I had to stop. I had to stop comparing myself to those around me – which I think we all do online. I had to push work to the back of my mind and come back to it later. My main focus had to be my little girl and I had to be a happy Mummy for her.
Six months later, as most Mum’s would be going back to work I find myself back feeling the struggle and I hate myself for it and on the flip side of things I know (as most Mum’s do) I would HATE having to leave Pollyanna and go to work so I am constantly reminding myself how lucky I am.
This time not however not only am I dragging myself down for the lack of work I am getting done but because I don’t want to be apart from my baby. When I do have a few hours to myself I find myself checking the time because I can’t wait for her to come home.
So basically Mum’s can’t win either way.
We’re not struggling, we are simply learning to put another life before ours and thats a pretty big job to do.
Thankfully we’ve found ourselves in a lovely routine at the moment, and the past month I have managed to work alongside being a Mummy. But routine changes and I am accepting the fact that if I want to achieve something amazing through my work I have to be patient. I have to find a good balance that is good for my little family.
I would love to know what your struggles were or are?